my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
