its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
