Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Text me some of your sweat
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
