Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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