i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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