Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
