Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
