I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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