The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
