it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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