I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
