why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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