and you said cock pushups were impossible
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize