did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize