Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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