your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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