i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
