I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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