I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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