just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize