Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i think im in europe. pls send help
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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