garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
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the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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