it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
