I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
