i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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