And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
