Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
