If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
