Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
