you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
