fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
