Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
