he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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