Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
