So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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