i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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