I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize