I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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