i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i've created a new STD.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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