he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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