I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
