don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
