I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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