Slut skills are useful in every country.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
BRING THE BAGELS
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
