I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Houston, we have a blender
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
