I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
