can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
