he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
