Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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