2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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