Cold hands, warm shart.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Randomize
