And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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