he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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