Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
