it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
