If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize