it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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